|i dont like this day....
||[Sep. 20th, 2004|07:47 pm]
I'm not really sure why, but i woke up 30 mins before i had to shower this morning with the worst feeling. I just wanted to curl up in my bed, cry, and then fall back to sleep under my blankets. But i couldnt even close my eyes. So i lied there staring at my ceiling and wishing the day was over already until my alarm went off.
School wasnt bad, just any old day. Justin and i hung out for awhile and went to the park which was really nice until some creepy old man stared us down, so we were out.
Then justin brought up me having to go to college next year. and i know, i'm supposed to be like excited right? but i'm so scared. like, a dead state of paranoia to the point where i'd almost rather not go to college, be broke forever, work at like mcdonalds all my life, and live on the streets of newburgh. i dont even know why but the very thought of it makes me cry. i guess ive kinda grown confortable in how things are and i know nothing will be the same. i'm an idiot huh? everyone else is all psyched and i'm ready to bury myself into a hole or shoot myself in the face. oy. ok enough rambling from me. sorry to all of those who wasted their time on this entry.